Ms. Ahmed: How many ferrets survive--
Guest Speaker: None.
Ms. Ahmed: But you said it is easy when the animals are young so wouldn't th--
Guest Speaker: None survive. Not one.
If only I would have checked myself– guy who wrecked himself (via nocreativeurlleft)
I feel like it would suck if that guy in the HTC commercial where he is taking pictures of people freefalling dropped his phone.
earthlaughsin-flowers asked: so, after tonight, have Alex stalk my facebook. I demand you put my prom pics up in your locker.
Shampoo is a funny word. Why would you want to wash your hair with something...– Nikos
My mom’s car broke down on the way home!
I have a concert tonight! And like every other concert, I have a chimes solo. When do I not play chimes and someone says “HEY THAT’S A SOLO!” Technically it is… But it isn’t impressive and I don’t care about it… But in the same piece I get to play these awesome runs on xylo and multiple people said “Hey Alexis! Nice xylophone solo!” during...
That guy Heidi picked up last night.
I'm a terrible test taker.
Me: I'm freaking out so much! Kendall, what is Rydberg's con--
Kendall: I'm not doing this this early Alexis.
Me: Okay... I'M FREAKING OUT KENDALL! I'm so itchy! WHAT IS RYDBERG'S CONSTANT? I FORGOT THE IDEAL GAS LAW! KENDALLLLLLLLLL.
Kendall: I got this.
HE WAS A BAKER BOI
Portia: He was a boy
Cinna: She was a girl
Effie: Can you make it any more obvious?
Haymitch: He always baked cakes
Gale: She hunted all day
Effie: What more can you say?
Caesar: He wanted her
Haymitch: She'd never tell
Cinna: Secretly she wanted him as well.
Effie: Gale, her friend, stuck up his nose
Gale: And I had a problem with his baker clothes
Katniss: ---you done?
Haymitch: HE WAS A BAKER BOI
Portia and Cinna: SHE SAID THROW ME THAT LOAF BOY
Capitol Citizens: HIS THROW WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER
Peeta: Well she had a hungry face!
Katniss: ---no, Peeta, not you too
Haymitch: You were such a disgrace!
Capitol Citizens: Shouldn't have thrown that bread to eaaaarrrth
When people ask me what I play in band, I sometimes want to say “I play the ratchet” or “I play the suspended cymbals” or, my favorite, “I play the egg shaker.”