March 2012
My best friend just told me to get a higher score in Zelda…
I’ll just play OoT.
I’m torn between playing Twilight Princess again and begging my mom to let me use the TV she is using to play Skyward Sword.
2 tags
Guess who got a 122% on a chemistry test.
Here’s a hint. Alexis did!
Random Guy: How do I get a beard like yours?
My Brother: Push.
Romeo & Juliet: Act 1, scene 2
Lord Capulet: But Montague doesn't have the balls, anyway, the old pansy, so it's all good.
Paris: True. True. So, Pops, how about you let me have some o' dat fine little daughter you got over there?
Lord Capulet: Dude, I keep telling you. She's thirteen. Slow your roll, Pedobear.
Paris: But all the girls are having babies at thirteen. It's on MTV, bro.
Lord Capulet: Tell you what. You come to our party, you see if she likes what you've got, then maybe we'll talk.
Paris: Awwww, yisss! I'm gettin' some sweet teenage booty! Dat's right!
Lord Capulet: I'm RIGHT HERE, bro.
Paris: My bad.
Lord Capulet: *hands paper to servant* Go tell all these mofos they best be at the party tonight. Capulet and Paris out, bitches. *exeunt*
Servant: *looks at paper* Oh, shit. I can't fucking read. Fuck. They told me not to sleep through English class. Shit.
Romeo: Bro, I told you, I only want Rosaline. Get off my ass.
Benvolio: Like there's room on your ass, with Mercutio all over it.
Romeo: Fuck you.
Benvolio: No, thanks. He'd kill me.
Servant: You two gay guys know how to read?
Romeo: We're not a couple.
Servant: Fuck, I really AM losing it, then. Ah, well. Can you do me a solid and tell me these names? It's a big-ass party and I'm SO fucked if I don't go remind them all.
Romeo: Yeah, yeah, whatever, Lady Widow of Vitruvio, blah blah, Lively Helena, blah, blah, HOLY DOG SHIT! ROSALINE! um, I mean, yeah, so cool. Where's this party?
Servant: Up at Capulet's You should come. Bring your boyfriend and shit.
Benvolio: Yeah! Mercutio'd like that.
Romeo: I'm NOT MERCUTIO'S DATE!
Benvolio: *pats his hair* Sure, baby, sure. So, look - we go to this party, right? We see ALL the honeys there, right? Boom! You pick a NEW girlfriend, and who gives a shit about Rosaline? Problem solved!
Romeo: But, but, won't they all pretty much be Capulet chicks? I mean, isn't that, like, a really bad idea?
Benvolio: Fuck it. YOLO, baby!
Romeo: Cool! I'll get Mercutio!
Benvolio: YEAH, you will.
Romeo: I'm not his date!
I want someone to ask me a question where the answer is no so I can answer “Sodium.” Get it?! Na! Like “nah” but “na” like sodium! Har har har!
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum is playing League of Legends and he goes down the bottom lane, but his partner either disconnects before the game begins or jungles the whole game, so he has to fight two people and he keeps getting killed and can’t level up.
aradiah:
look at these potatoes even though they have different skin colours they are still friends we should all act more like potatoes
i hope rick santorum: I hope Rick Santorum bribes... →
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum bribes his children into good behavior by promising them a trip to the toy store where he will purchase them anything their little hearts desire. They drive forty minutes to the “better” Toys ‘R’ Us, only for Rick to discover that he has left his wallet on the nightstand at…
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum blows in his N64 cartridge and it still doesn’t work.
I only got one B this quarter! And somehow I got an A in math by .1 points. Yay! Go Alexis! College! Woo!
Can I have a hug now?
amandaxing:
archimedean-spiral:
amandaxing:
archimedean-spiral replied to your post: 2busy4u
Not a girls’ night for Amanda and Alexis? Ok…
Girl, if you could come over then that would make my night so much better.
Alexis>male with an average-sized dong.
Especially better if you let me play with your hair.
Guys! No one plays with my hair! Can Amanda please just come here? I’d...
amandaxing:
archimedean-spiral replied to your post: 2busy4u
Not a girls’ night for Amanda and Alexis? Ok…
Girl, if you could come over then that would make my night so much better.
Alexis>male with an average-sized dong.
All week I have felt the need to puke but I haven’t yet. Do I just stick my head in the toilet and wait?
Can I have one moment of out-of-character Alexis?
SHUT UP CHEMISTRY! EQUILIBRIUM CAN GO IN A HOLE! I AM SO BORED OF YOU! How did I get blood in my chem book? I don’t even know. I’m looking at it. Did I get a paper cut? Chemistry did this. I’m going to cheat on Chemistry with Physics at this rate. You are really screwing up this relationship chemistry. Soon you will find me in the arms of another science.
Ok. I’m done. I...
My mommy said I can have a big party for my 18th birthday but it will probably be 3 months before my birthday so my friends who are seniors can come and such. So yeah. Anyone wish to come? It will end up being a small get together at a bowling alley but in fancy dresses because I like to dress up but I hate people.
Hi.
